the journey

here's the deal.

with everything i've managed to muck through over the past several years there are still some internal scripts that continue to run through my head. primary is that i'm unworthy.

"unworthy of what", you might ask? take your goddamn pick. love, success, happiness...

well you know what? i'm fucking sick of it.

i'm making this pledge - 2010 resolutions, if you will - and all (smattering) of you who may actually read this are my witnesses.

• i resolve to revel in my eccentricities and embrace my shortcomings without making excuses.
• i resolve to feel whatever it is i'm going to feel as much as i'm going to feel it and if it's too much for you then that's your fucking problem
• i resolve to laugh as much as i want and not give a shit how many eardrums i break.
• i resolve to dance more but be just fine being a wallflower when i want to (and those times will be often).
• i resolve to allow myself to make some big fucking mistakes but as long as i tried my best i also resolve to not dwell on the failure.
• i resolve to continue my gut-wrenching journey of unrealistically optimistic hope so that you will understand me as long as i'm brutally honest with myself (and you).
• i resolve to love with every fiber of my being.

you see... im worthy of it all. love, loss, happiness, sorrow, success, failure, connection, solitude, adventure, the mundane... peace. there's no right or wrong. just keep the perspective in check.

and this journey is worth it.

(thanks hand-held)