the fine art of disappointment

do i believe in the basic goodness of all people out of idealism or because it's just easier?

i mean, if i believe that you're good and that your intentions and actions are aligned i don't have to second guess you and figure out your motives and your next move.

but when you disappoint me - as most people do because no one is ever 100% aligned in their good intentions and actions - it hurts that much more because i expected more than that from you. or... i didn't expect you to disappoint me.

maybe i need to expect that people will disappoint me from now on. maybe i need to hone my people reading skills so i can weed out the bullshit artists from the good people.

but what a fucked up way to live life - scrutinizing everyone.

i think i can still believe in the core good that exists in everyone. but maybe i need to just adjust that outlook to accommodate the poor choices that we all make. despite our best intentions for good.

who knows.

Yaz @ The Orpheum

Allison and Vince still have it after 25 years! Incredible show.

back to it

welp... i think i had a full 18 hours of post-vacation afterglow to bask in until i had to jump into my now trademark no-life work days™. whatever, it's a living and it allows me to travel so i really have nothing to complain about.

the birthday in belize was wonderful. i ended up meeting a fantastic group of people to celebrate it with - all really amazing people. we all were on a dive boat that day, met for happy hour afterwards, had dinner together and then moved back to the bar for more celebration. and despite not wanting a big deal made over anything they all sang happy birthday to me - twice. all in all, a pretty original birthday. it's so comforting to know that, no matter where in the world i happen to go, i always seem to meet great people.


the belizean bday dinner crew - you guys rule

the bday celebrations continued when max, robyn, jim and teresa all took me out this past saturday to dinner and to this dueling piano bar called howl at the moon. alternating between hysterical and horrifying, the place is really just an excuse for people to get sloppy drunk and sing raunchy songs with strangers. anyhow, they have this thing called "word of the day" where you pay the guys at the pianos x dollars to write whatever you want them to write up on this whiteboard. chimp simple but for drunk people it's the best thing ever. my friends had the bra-zlliant idea to put my number up on the board... "for a good time call...". calls and texts start pouring in, i have to go and kiss a cute little blondie that has no idea what's going on. hilarity ensues.


you didn't think i was actually going to post my phone number, did you?

oh and i had to do the peewee herman tequila dance in front of everyone. footage of which (yes there's footage) need not be posted publicly.

so now it's back to real life with me and the dog. glad to be back, sad to be back. though i'm already planning for the next adventures... mauritania in december then palau and yap over new years. i better get to work and earn some money!