bittersweet & the resolve for lightness
ok so here it comes... year-end thoughts.
i've realized that i've used the word "bittersweet" to describe so many of the events of this year of my life. but, really, it's the most accurate way to describe my view of things. thanksgiving - the evolution of old traditions into new. bittersweet. the high of completing my first marathon after 8 hard months of training and the subsequent emotional crash. bittersweet. the freedom and uncertainty of my first full year working for myself. bittersweet. the joy of traveling all over the world and experiencing the interconnectedness of everything but doing it alone and, despite having the extreme fortune of meeting amazing people along the way, only having myself to share in the experience of the moment. bittersweet. the seemingly never-ending, soul-numbing process of divorce and the progressive release of what was the greatest love of my life... and then the resulting rediscovery of myself. bittersweet.
but then what are these types of experiences without hardship to emphasize their importance and weight? if there was no struggle would the lessons stick? is it the human condition to take everything for granted and only truly appreciate those things that we really have to earn?
or is it possible to experience the hardships and the joys simultaneously with grace and lightness?
historically, this just hasn't been my way. i overthink everything (like the subject of this entry). i overfeel everything. everything is my responsibility and i'm overly hard on myself when i don't live up to my own lofty expectations. is it actually possible for me to stay true to who i am and experience life with less weight?
i've never been one for new year's resolutions - they always seem like "nice-to-haves" without any true intention - but this year i'm going to make a resolution. i resolve to be lighter. i resolve to continue to reach for excellence but go easier on myself if i fall short. i resolve to laugh equally at challenges and sucesses because both offer me the opportunity to grow. i resolve to be kind to myself without overindulging my tendencies. i resolve to be more spontaneous. i resolve to be thankful for what i have and at the same time realize that i deserve it all. i resolve to celebrate more.
i resolve to be lighter.
love, peace and prosperity to you and yours in '07!
i've realized that i've used the word "bittersweet" to describe so many of the events of this year of my life. but, really, it's the most accurate way to describe my view of things. thanksgiving - the evolution of old traditions into new. bittersweet. the high of completing my first marathon after 8 hard months of training and the subsequent emotional crash. bittersweet. the freedom and uncertainty of my first full year working for myself. bittersweet. the joy of traveling all over the world and experiencing the interconnectedness of everything but doing it alone and, despite having the extreme fortune of meeting amazing people along the way, only having myself to share in the experience of the moment. bittersweet. the seemingly never-ending, soul-numbing process of divorce and the progressive release of what was the greatest love of my life... and then the resulting rediscovery of myself. bittersweet.
but then what are these types of experiences without hardship to emphasize their importance and weight? if there was no struggle would the lessons stick? is it the human condition to take everything for granted and only truly appreciate those things that we really have to earn?
or is it possible to experience the hardships and the joys simultaneously with grace and lightness?
historically, this just hasn't been my way. i overthink everything (like the subject of this entry). i overfeel everything. everything is my responsibility and i'm overly hard on myself when i don't live up to my own lofty expectations. is it actually possible for me to stay true to who i am and experience life with less weight?
i've never been one for new year's resolutions - they always seem like "nice-to-haves" without any true intention - but this year i'm going to make a resolution. i resolve to be lighter. i resolve to continue to reach for excellence but go easier on myself if i fall short. i resolve to laugh equally at challenges and sucesses because both offer me the opportunity to grow. i resolve to be kind to myself without overindulging my tendencies. i resolve to be more spontaneous. i resolve to be thankful for what i have and at the same time realize that i deserve it all. i resolve to celebrate more.
i resolve to be lighter.
love, peace and prosperity to you and yours in '07!